Friday, February 15, 2013

"Loneliness and how it can destroy even the Strongest of the strong" Part Two




If you read the first part of this Blog, I mentioned that there was an antidote to 'Loneliness'...

There are a few things one can do to battle this in a constructive way.
I write from experience and it is only my opinion, so if you do not agree, then we can agree to disagree.
I am not here to be your counselor.
I am merely trying to pass on something that could help you understand some things in a different way.

I had mentioned that I never knew loneliness until the day I met that Special Someone who showed me that my way of dealing with things were special indeed.
He showed me that I was not the only one who had the standards that I did, who most people could never meet in ten lifetimes. It felt great to have someone know me without doubts.

Prior to this, I lived my life joyfully doing many things on my own like travelling and being creative.
I was a home body and never cared to meet men or have a boyfriend. They were too much trouble to deal with! The jealousy and insecurities were not worth the so called Sex! LOL:)
In my world, if I had to be drunk in order to feel good then it was a false reality!
I have been told stories of where my friends have woken up with the opposite sex during a supposedly wild and passionate night of sex... But when asked,  "so how was it and why was it so good?", their answers were always the same: "I was really drunk, so I don't remember much of it!"

Well holy macaroni shit! If you cannot remember then I certainly do not believe it was that great and what is the point of doing such things when you won't remember it the next day anyway?
This made me somewhat of an outcast in a way. I had no problem with that as I was not the type who needed sex or attention to gratify my time.

One of my so called antidotes to this, was being creative with whatever was constructive and something that could one day make a difference in my life and in others. I made a mental list of the endless possibilities I had in accordance to the talents I had. I used positive mental Projections and took emotions out of the equation.

I made my home, a home that I wanted to dwell and relax in! A place I could be proud of.
It did not matter where I went, I decorated and made it a homely environment. I would go on trips equipped with different scarves, that I could drape over lampshades and candles to add ambiance along with my favorite music.
I loved the sense of 'Being Alone'.
To me, it was freedom! Freedom to do what I wished and to think in silence or out loud.

I would do a Dress-up night where a limo would pick me up and take me to a fancy restaurant to dine alone. I would book a table for two and pretend to get stood up by my date and chuckle inside as I watch the rest of the people at the restaurant judge me! LOL:)
Yes, it sounds strange and a bit wacky but I always found a way to entertain myself, all on my own!

Loneliness and Boredom only happens when you are bored with yourself!
Heck, I used to spend hours putting on make up. I would apply then take it off and repeat until I could come up with something more creative than the usual!
I also would clean and organize my closets and paperwork. Shine all the chrome around the bathroom and kitchen etc.
Do you get what I am getting at? Staying busy, constructive and creative are good ways to never get Lonely!
Then there is television, which I was not fond of. I felt it made my brain lazy, so instead of that, I took up reading, working out and learning how to play musical instruments.

There are so many things one can do to beat Loneliness.
As the title states, "Loneliness and how it can destroy even the Strongest of the strong"... is so very true!
A loss of a loved one or of a pet can do that to the best of us!
I know because that happened to me when my dog Maza was killed with my two cats.
I wanted to die!
Actually, I am sure I would have, if  that Special person I told you about was not there to remind me, that if I believed, the best is yet to come.
The Loneliness I felt from losing my Daddy to losing my 3 pets were more than I can bear!
I had to Focus and Remember how loneliness worked in people's lives!
It is Sneaky!

My suggestion to you if you are going through Loneliness now, is to Focus on the Joy you remember best!

Use the Past!
Use the happy moments even if they might bring tears. Bleed every ounce of that Loneliness out by spending some time figuring out why and what it is that triggers that emotion out of you!
Yes, money helps get rid of loneliness for a bit, but at the end of the day...
You are still You and Loneliness is still your shadow, if you do not defeat it.

I could go on and on about this subject but I am not writing a Self-help book here. I am merely sharing myself and my thoughts with you.
Until next time...

Peace to All!

3 comments:

  1. the individualhas always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.If you,try it ,you will be lonely often and sometimes frightned,but no price is to high to pay for owning your soul.-nietzche

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    1. Bravo! Excellent comment! Thank You! :) Awoohhh! :)

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  2. Joy and happiness are both emotions where a person has feelings of contentment or satisfaction. But both these feelings may differ from each other based on the reasons causing the feeling and the nature of the feeling. J.D. Salinger, the author of Catcher in the Rye, once wrote, "The fact is always obvious much too late, but the most singular difference between happiness and joy is that happiness is a solid and joy a liquid."

    A dictionary definition of happiness is “a state of well-being, a pleasurable or satisfying experience.” The definition of the word “rejoice,” from which our word “joy” comes, is “to feel great delight, to welcome or to be glad.” Depending on the translation, the Bible uses the words “happy” and “happiness” about 30 times, while “joy” and “rejoice” appear over 300 times. Yes, happiness is different than joy!

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